I'm going to stop numbering the days because well, I don't update every day. Friday was mine and Joe's break day. Sam had to walk because she had her break day on Thursday. She tells me she did. Saturday we did the C25K routine even though that was actually wrong. We were supposed to walk on Saturday and do the routine tonight. Oh well. We did it backwards. So last night's routine went well. My knees hurt for the first part but didn't hurt much at all into the second half.
Tonight, however! Was a different story. I walked. I had taken the anti-inflammatory pills that momma gave me beforehand. Like an hour beforehand (so they had time to start working). I felt good at the onset of the walk. But the last half KICKED.MY.ASS. I'm not even exaggerating. Not in an "oh this is SO hard kinda way" because it was NOT HARD. But rather in an "oh my god the pain" kind of way. Again, more proof that it's better to do the routine every day.
I got done with the walk and came inside and just bawled. I just could not stop crying. Joe fixed me some water and brought me some ibuprofen. He's sweet. I guess I cried because it feels like even though I've been pretty successful so far at beating the voices in my head, there doesn't seem to be shit I can do about my knees. They aren't getting better. Medicine isn't helping. I don't have a passel of money to go first to a general practitioner and then to maybe an orthopedic doctor and the followups and the medicine.
It feels like I'm beating my mind but my body's beating me. Like maybe it's too late. I'm already too fat, too far gone.